Was told today that I'm pregnant once again, and this time the father is a very good friend.
Since I was 11 years old, that very same rumour has been going round this shithole about me, albeit the father changing once every few weeks <teachers, ex boyfriends, current boyfriends etc> and it just shows the people here have no goddamn imagination whatsoever. If you're going to speak about me, stop making me fucking pregnant! And if you can't think up anything else, don't fucking talk shit about me. Simple as. Give me an eating disorder, a criminal record, something other than the same shit constantly. Make it something worthwhile and interesting.
So yes, apparently I'm expecting my 12th child. My god, that is some record for a 22 year old, eh.
All this talk really doesn't bother me anymore, cause the people here have nothing to do but speculate on everyone's lives, but they forget to take into account, that you actually ruin peoples lives.
The supposed father in question will now have to deal with his family asking questions, my family asking questions. It's bad enough they're talking about us, but when his family are getting harrassed at their work over this, that's when it gets dangerous. I'll also have to deal with all this shit from his family and my family, not to mention the rest of the fucking town on top of all of that.
Seriously, what do I have to do to get it through these bastards thick heads? Post it on the local website, put up posters in shop windows around the town or make an announcement on the local radio? GET YOUR OWN FUCKING LIVES AND STAY OUT OF MINE.
And it's gonna get bloody worse as well, cause I finish my job at the end of this month thanks to no more funding for my wages, which will likely in this place turn into maternity leave. And if in so many months they don't see me with a pram, I've put the kid up for adoption. God sake!
What I've learned, however, is no matter what you do, people are always going to talk about you. Fuck, you can do nothing at all, and still people say things. But why the fuck am I always pregnant? That is what I don't understand. Do these people have such an obsession over kids, that every fucking female has to be pregnant?! Gah!
So, I've been pregnant 12 times, have 11 kids, I've died once <that was a good one. You don't go to the pub anymore, you've died>, what else...oh yeah, I was Matlida and could move things with my eyes. I've been to rehab. The list goes on. I've done so many things I never knew I'd done, the most being pregnant, but I must have a hellova lot of life experience and stories to tell.
I used to say years ago, I could write a book with all the rumours there are about me, and now I think I'll do that, call it, My Life - Unknown To Me.
I have 5 days holdays to take before the 30th, but in this place if I leave it'll likely look like I'm running away. I could actually, physically and mentally care less. Go away, chill out, do fuck all, come back and face this shit head on, with my head high and a smile on my face. It's the only way to survive in this town, don't let them see that it gets to you. Yes, you can be hurting inside, want to castrate them or chop them up into tiny little pieces, but as long as they don't see, nothing can be said <and you can't be charged with attempted murder either>
One of these days, I'll have to start a rumour about myself, see how far and fast it spreads and what it ends up being. So I need a good rumour...I know, I've been questioned by the police about something. See how fast that gets round the town and by the next day I'll be in the high court going down for murder or something.
It seriously is a really good thing I can look these people in the eye and laugh in their faces. Cause nine times out of ten, what they say about you, is what happens to them.
Karma's a fucking bitch and I love it.
And it may sound harsh, but I do hope whoever started this gets hit by a fucking bus. Or something comes to light about their life.
And God Bless Olivia Newton John for her song, It's None of My Business What You think of me. And Jeannie C. Riley for Harper Valley PTA. Both these kick ass country songs sum up what it's like to live here.
"This is just a little Peyton Place and you're all
So, rant over.
One last thing. My new motto? Shit on me, expect twice as much back.